I know I mentioned her other song from the "It's Over" album but I've been really obsessed with this song and fell even more in love when I read the English translations for this song. This song's lyrics echo every single thing about me and what happened this past December.
I feel awful just thinking about it.
Before I go on, this post is going to be very personal so if you plan to keep reading to your hearts content. I don't mind as long as there are no hurtful comments pertaining to whoever in the post I will be referring to.
Anyways, before I launch into this whole story about my first failed relationship, I'll give you some background info lol
I'm a little Asian girl with typical grades lol. Struggling to keep my grades and try to raise them higher. I used to have self confidence issues due my past with bullying and the such but I'm getting over them and am now trying to rebuild myself slowly. It's working and I'm getting more and more confident by the day with God's help.
That's when I met someone in my junior year of high school, W.C (initials used for the sake of anonymity). He was a new transfer student straight from Korea and he and I became friends by our other friends introducing each other (my close guy friend then later told me that ever since he met W.C he was trying to hook me and him up haha). W.C and I became good friends and soon we were texting each other pretty often. Time passed and that's when I realized that I might like him, that heart fluttering feeling one gets whenever they see that person. And I was hearing rumours that W.C had a crush on me. But I didn't want to get my hopes up too high and believe them.
Then during homecoming week, one of W.C's classmate approached me (W.C and I were in different classes). I didn't know her all that well except that she had a reputation of being a slut and was overly obsessed with the Asian race. That's about all I knew about her from word of mouth from my school. She was a new student to the school as well but her reputation followed her from her old school it seems.
Anyways, she started chatting me up and was really "buddy buddy" with me. I didn't think much of it at the time but I really should have.
Loooong story short (because it is extremely long and detailed, considering everything she did to me and W.C. Not only that I don't feel like going into depth with it because it just upsets me thinking about it), she had used me to get close to W.C because she heard word that W.C and I were close and apparently she liked him.
I had asked her several times if she liked W.C (because I knew she liked Asian guys) but she would always deny and I would believe her surprisingly enough. I think the only reason why I was so willing to accept her "friendship" was because I believed in giving people second chances and to not judge someone based on rumour or word of mouth. Boy was I wrong in this second chance.
Anyways, so she split me and W.C's friendship bond pretty severely where she lied to him in front of both of us and twisted the story so that everything was in her favor.
But after the turbulent storm had died down, W.C and I became friends again but we had to start over from the beginning because that's just how badly that girl messed things up. To this day we have never talked ever since that incident. And I don't mind.
But then, W.C had this other Korean friend, S.K, (they're really close, like brothers almost haha) and he introduced us two and we became friends instantly. He was very sweet and he was like the older brother I had always wanted. He was very caring and always helped me with many things.
Little did I know (I honestly had no idea about this, it came kind of as a surprise when I found out), that W.C's friend liked me a lot.
...wow that sounded really bratty lol didn't mean to come off across as that.
But S.K confessed to me on December of 2012 with a letter and then asked me on the phone if I would be his girlfriend. I thought about it for a long time (I thought about it for a good three days or even more, let me tell you. Close to a week almost.) and I finally said yes.
But I never felt any heart flutter whenever I saw him. Things were the same as before, and if at all, a bit more awkward then before as well.
I found myself caring for him more than "loving" him.
The worst part, I realized only until after we had broken the relationship that I only liked him as a close friend and older brother.
Almost three months into the relationship, when I thought a lot about it and whether I was really committed to relationship as he was, I decided that it wasn't fair for him to keep thinking that I like him as much as he likes me.
It's not like the relationship itself was bad and terrible...
I just didn't feel like it was fair for him.
And it's not that I wasn't committed. I am very serious and committed when it comes to a relationship. But I just didn't like him back that way I guess.
I guess first time won't always go as well as I thought it'd be.
So that's why I've been having this song on repeat.
lol sorry for the long explanation everyone.
Every time I hear this song now, my heart always aches, like it was my fault I said yes. I should have known myself better and not hurt him. As of now, W.C and I still talk and he sometimes ask me why S.K and I don't talk anymore. He knows we broke up but still....it's kind of awkward to talk to him. S.K won't look at me anymore like I scare him. I have tried to say "Hi" to him a couple times but he looks away, not in hate, but in fear kind of.
I'm not trying to say I'm some powerful woman heart breaker and he's some weakling...it's just that things are fragile between us...
Which is why this song's lyrics fit perfectly to this.
Hangul
내 사랑은 새빨간 rose
지금은 아름답겠지만
날카로운 가시로 널 아프게 할걸
내 사랑은 새빨간 rose
그래 난 향기롭겠지만
가까이 할수록 널 다치게 할걸
그런 가벼운 눈빛으로 날 쳐다보지 말아줘요
함부로 사랑을 쉽게 얘기하지마
내 맘을 갖고 싶다면 내 아픔도 가져야 해요
언젠가 반드시 가시에 찔릴 테니까
날 너무 믿지마
넌 날 아직 잘 몰라
So just run away run away
I said ooh ooh ooh
날 사랑하지마
넌 날 아직 잘 몰라
I said run away just run away
다가오지마
내 사랑은 새빨간 rose
지금은 아름답겠지만
날카로운 가시로 널 아프게 할걸
내 사랑은 새빨간 rose
그래 난 향기롭겠지만
가까이 할수록 널 다치게 할걸
자신감에 찬 니 모습이
내 눈엔 그저 안쓰러워
날 향한 씩씩한 발걸음이
오늘따라 초라해 보여
감정, 사치야 내겐
사랑, 집착의 Best friend
So run away just run away
Cuz you and I must come to an end
every rose has its thorn
every rose has its thorn
every rose has its thorn
날 너무 믿지마
넌 날 아직 잘 몰라
So just run away run away
I said ooh ooh ooh
날 사랑하지마
넌 날 아직 잘 몰라
I said run away just run away
다가오지마
내 사랑은 새빨간 rose
지금은 아름답겠지만
날카로운 가시로 널 아프게 할걸
내 사랑은 새빨간 rose
그래 난 향기롭겠지만
가까이 할수록 널 다치게 할걸
English Translation
My love is like a red rose
It may be beautiful now
But my sharp thorns will hurt you
My love is like a red rose
Yes, I may be fragrant
But the closer you get, the more I’ll hurt you
Don’t look at me with that light glance
Don’t speak of love easily
If you want my heart, you need to take my pain too
Because you will be pricked by my thorns someday
Don’t trust me too much
You don’t know me that well yet
So just run away run away
I said ooh ooh ooh
Don’t love me
You don’t know me that well yet
I said run away just run away
Don’t come to me
My love is like a red rose
It may be beautiful now
But my sharp thorns will hurt you
My love is like a red rose
Yes, I may be fragrant
But the closer you get, the more I’ll hurt you
Seeing your confidence makes me feel so bad for you
Your confident footsteps toward me looks so pitiful today
Emotions? That’s an extravagance to me
Love? That’s Obsession’s best friend
So run away just run away
Cuz you and I must come to an end
Every rose has its thorn
Every rose has its thorn
Every rose has its thorn
Don’t trust me too much
You don’t know me that well yet
So just run away run away
I said ooh ooh ooh
Don’t love me
You don’t know me that well yet
I said run away just run away
Don’t come to me
My love is like a red rose
It may be beautiful now
But my sharp thorns will hurt you
My love is like a red rose
Yes, I may be fragrant
But the closer you get, the more I’ll hurt you
Sorry for the random Lee Hi Rose MV screencaps placed throughout this post. The pictures/screencaps were just too beautiful, with its color scheme and everything else to pass it up featuring on my blog lol. But until next time everyone :)
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